The Power of Thoughtful Communication: Why It Pays to Think Before You Speak

Speaking before you think often leads to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Putting your foot in your mouth is embarrassing, but it can also have a negative effect on certain relationships or opportunities, such as a job interview. Consider other people's feelings. It's true that words have power.

Thinking before you speak is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way.

6 Reasons Why you Should Think Before You Speak

1. Your Words Represent You

Before you speak – think. Words are what reflect who you are as a person. What you say reflects your character.

2. Words Can Be Hurtful

Words have the power to help others as well as harm others’ feelings. My point is, that words can either make someone feel special or they can make someone feel less than. They have the power to hurt a person – emotionally and mentally. Words hurt when spoken without considering the consequences.

3. Intentions Can Be Different

Assumptions are never good. Your friend is speaking to you about something you did but their intention is not to hurt you but to explain to you what you could have done differently. You, on the other hand, might take their words in the wrong way and lash out at them without thinking through.

Not all people intend to hurt you. Make sure you understand their intentions clearly before responding to their words. Listen before you speak. If you’re not clear about their intentions, ask them. Never assume someone’s intentions. They might differ.

4. Emotions Can Make You Overreact

Again, assumptions can make you overreact and speak without thinking. When we assume what someone said as hurtful, our emotional side takes the front seat and makes us say things we probably don’t mean.

5. Words Can Affect Actions Too

Actions speak louder than words, true. But the opposite is true too. Our words, often spoken without thinking through, can affect others actions and behaviors. For example; you, in your emotional state, angrily call your friend “stupid”. Your words here might make your friend think that they are not smart.

Words spoken in haste and under emotions – often without thinking – can make the other person lose their self-confidence or self-worth. As I said, words can be hurtful and they can affect others’ actions too.

6. Words Can’t Be Taken Back

No matter how hard you try, apologizing for something you did not mean to say but said anyway is not going to undo the damage already done.

How to think before you speak - the art of thoughtful communication.

Understanding the reasons why you should think before you speak is the first step. Next comes, how to do it:

1. Wait for 5-10 seconds to think before you speak, especially if you’re angry or emotional. If you can’t think of anything polite to say, it’s always better to stay quiet or walk away.

2. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind.

T – TRUE. Is what you are saying actually true, or is it ‘fake news’? Lies and misinformation hurt others and reflect the liar as someone untrustworthy.

H – HELPFUL. Are your words helpful? Assisting others to make better decisions through offering good advice is also important.

I – INSPIRING. Are others inspired by what you are saying? People are greatly inspired by words which have the influence to prompt others to do amazing things.

N – NECESSARY. Do your words really need to be said? Useless chatter is annoying, while language that actively hurts others is wholly unnecessary.

K – KIND. Is what you want to say kind? We all know the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all”. Unkind sentences obviously have the power to hurt people.

Humans are emotional beings and need reassurance from time to time. So, try not to be harsh with your words and don’t hurt others. It’s important to speak considerably and kind to everyone.

Think Before You Speak