Transform Your Life: Embrace Self-Compassion Through a Growth Mindset

What is self compassion?

Self-compassion is a positive attitude we can have towards ourselves. Having self-compassion means being able to relate to yourself in a way that’s forgiving, accepting, and loving when situations might be less than optimal.

Self compassion has three components:

Kristin Neff, Ph.D. is a pioneer in the study of self-compassion, being the first one to operationally define and measure the construct almost twenty years ago. She has been recognized as one of the world's most influential research psychologists. According to Neff (2003a), self-compassion has three components: Self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-kindness is a kind attitude towards the self in painful moments rather than harsh self-criticism and self-degradation. Common humanity refers to framing one’s suffering as part of being human and as an experience that connects the self to others rather than isolating oneself from them. Mindfulness means holding suffering in balanced awareness without being completely absorbed by negative feelings. Each component of self-compassion constitutes sets of positive and negative cognitions and behaviors, where the positive set should be present (i.e. self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness), and the negative set should be absent (i.e. self-judgment, isolation, and over-identification). In other words, showing yourself self-compassion means offering yourself all three of these things.

Why is Self-Compassion Important?

Research indicates that self-compassion is strongly associated with psychological well-being [Neff, 2009]. Higher levels of self-compassion are linked to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure. Self-compassion involves treating oneself as one would a friend, being more mindful, and understanding our situation in the context of a larger human experience. When we can be more understanding and gentler with ourselves, identify less with the emotions that surround our mistakes, and understand that failure is a normal part of the larger human experience, we become stronger and more successful in the long run.

How Can We Best Practice Self-Compassion?

Practicing self-compassion is a process that takes time and effort, but it is achievable. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, focus on learning and growing from them. Embrace the idea that forgiveness is a journey, and with each step, you can let go of the past and move toward a more compassionate and understanding relationship with yourself.

The graphic in this post illustrates how to be kinder to yourself through positive self-talk. For example, instead of saying "I have to", say "I get to". Replace those "should" and "could" thoughts with "I choose" or "next time". And when you feel like you've failed, remember - you've simply learned.

What if failing wasn't a negative? What if it was an opportunity to learn, grow, and become more present? The way we talk to ourselves matters.

Let's shift our thinking to a growth mindset and embrace the power of positive self-talk. A growth mindset is how much you believe your basic qualities, like intelligence and talent, can be changed or developed, whereas a fixed mindset is how much you believe your basic qualities are fixed or permanent.

As a life coach, I'm here to guide you through this journey.

Get started on your journey to a better tomorrow by scheduling a free Discovery Call with Coach David. During this assessment discussion, we'll dive deep into your problems, frustrations, needs, and goals. You'll learn more about my services and how they can help you achieve the life you desire. Let's work together to create a path towards a happier, more fulfilling future.